ask_london

Valentine's Day

2007-02-20T03:51:54Z

Martin made me dinner and since then and the days after we've squashed a lot of what has been bothering me lately.

Healing takes time, yes, but love and effort that healing can happen faster.

I am so in love.
And this time it's a romantic love.
Not some bullshit love where it's like "well I've been with them for four months so I guess I love them". Psh.
Fuck that kid shit.

I just have to stay positive.

ask_london @ 2007-02-06T22:54:00

2007-02-07T06:55:12Z

Let's hope this never happens again.
Otherwise, I'm back to my first plan of disappearing.

May Angels Lead You In

2007-02-04T10:10:08Z

So everyone is sleeping.
Everyone in my house but me.

I haven't had the chance to write in this thing for a looong while.
I've been extremely busy with school, which I happen to be doing very well in.

The guy I love is sleeping and I'm afraid to fall asleep.
He's so ethereal.
Especially when he sleeps.
I touch his face just to make sure he's not something I've made up, I know he's not a false idea of an idealistic human.
He's perfect with his imperfections.
he's perfect because he embraces mine.

I'm so in love.

And this time it's real.
It's meant to last a life time.

I may be young, it may be too early on to say it...
but we know what we want.
Each other.
He says he wants to get married.
So do I.
And we mean it.

I'm [MORE THAN] willing to give my all to him.

On the date I was given my destiny...

2007-01-18T10:46:00Z

My birthday was beyond amazing.
I fell harder back into love.
I've learned so much already about myself and relationships in general because of the relationship I'm currently in.
This is going to last.
Martin has shown me what an honest relationship is.
he's shown me everything that obviously I never had with or within a signicant other.

I was also kidnapped and my car was fully decorated.
I got the best gifts, and I'm not talking about the materialistic ones either.
I received the gift of love on my birthday and the gifts of friendship and happiness.

Phone Convo.

2006-12-19T08:51:42Z

Michelle: I'm sorry, Jordan's ugly.
Me: Ew he is...Ew...Jordan's hella ugly.
Michelle: Yeaaaahhh.
Me: HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME?
Michelle: Because no one wanted to offend you.
Me: *laughs* Ew he's HELLA UGLY.

To whom it may concern:

2006-12-13T04:45:04Z

I love who I am.

Christmas is coming up fast!
I'm not worried, my presents are going to be the best ever.

Martin is going to take me ice skating soon!
Hella excited.
I need not anyone else, romantically.
Perhaps, I need not anyone ever again?
Who knows =]

I love all my friends for sticking by me,
and I'm sure they know I'm here no matter what.

Need me to pepper spray a fool?
I'm there.

I'll kill a bitch for any of my friends.

This quarter is overrr for Miss Lydia.

Revenge Fuck.

2006-12-08T10:08:15Z

and believe me,
Revenge is Sweet.

ask_london @ 2006-11-28T00:28:00

2006-11-28T08:28:31Z

The fact that I can actually sit town and talk things out with my babe gives me a sense of relief and happiness.
I appreciate that he knows when I get a bit upset and wants to TALK it out.
That when I tell him I feel like I may panic, he lets me get it all out.

He kisses my forehead.
And runs his hands and fingers over and through my hair.

He knows I mean what I say.
That I don't lie.
That I'll never cheat him out.

He called me his girlfriend today =]
I've already fallen for his family.

He had me smitten the moment he placed an autumn leaf on my dashboard.

In Other News:
Gonna go to Haight wednesdaaaay!
With Deanna and Kat =] and possibly Martin...but it's not for sure yet...
Then gonna goooo to Berkeley Friday and then to Christmas in the Park!<333
Saturday, hella plans for Halfmoon Bay and Santa Cruz. <333

It's refreshing.

For the RIGHT reasons.

ask_london @ 2006-11-27T01:20:00

2006-11-27T09:20:09Z

I luuuuuuuv my friends.
And my beb.

At this point I need not anyone else but a handfull of people.
Life is good.
Love is great.

ask_london @ 2006-11-25T14:05:00

2006-11-25T22:05:35Z

Hygiene is very important to maintain if you want a job at Hot Topic.
So take a shower!

HAHAHAHAAHAHA.
Dirty boyz are HELLUH nasty to look at...
and smell.

Girls day out today.
I loooove my girlZzZz.

ask_london @ 2006-11-23T04:05:00

2006-11-23T12:05:32Z

Upon the sand, upon the bay
"There is a quick and easy way" you say
Before you illustrate
I'd rather state :
"I'm not the man you think I am
I'm not the man you think I am"

And Sorrow's native son
He will not smile for anyone

And Pretty Girls Make Graves
Oh ...

End of the pier, end of the bay
You tug my arm, and say : "Give in to lust,
Give up to lust, oh heaven knows we'll
Soon be dust ... "

Oh, I'm not the man you think I am
I'm not the man you think I am

And Sorrow's native son
He will not rise for anyone

And Pretty Girls Make Graves
Oh ...

I could have been wild and I could have
Been free
But Nature played this trick on me

She wants it Now
And she will not wait
But she's too rough
And I'm too delicate

Then, on the sand
Another man, he takes her hand
A smile lights up her stupid face
(and well, it would)

I lost my faith in Womanhood
I lost my faith in Womanhood
I lost my faith ...
Oh ...

Hand in glove ...
The sun shines out of our behinds ...
Oh ...

ask_london @ 2006-11-22T04:19:00

2006-11-22T12:19:28Z

Take it with a teaspoon of salt.

That's right.
Get Jealous.

My life is sweet.

Time for sleep since I just got done with a slight project.
Then I'm off to SF to drop off the project with OLGAAAA.
Hang out with Deanna.
Go home.
Shop with Michelle.
Hang out with her and my loverrrrZz.

Let's party ;D

ask_london @ 2006-11-21T00:55:00

2006-11-21T08:55:43Z

New and Improved.
Proud.
Inhaling.
Exhaling.

Falling deeper and deeper.

*Sigh. He is perfection. He's what I've been missing. He's what I've needed all this time.
♥

He speaks what I think, sometimes.

2006-11-20T08:12:09Z

"loving me isnt playing tug-o-war with my heart because you can. Not killing my soul and pouring my emotions down the drain for self-benefit. You're nothing but a charlatan and a fool. and your chances have shriveled and died long ago"
"no. never again. I'm tired of dying and trying to recucitate myself because it'll make you happy for a single moment in time, until you run off with some other piece of shit whos only better than me until im fed up"

Exactly.

ask_london @ 2006-11-18T22:38:00

2006-11-19T06:38:24Z

So...

I'm ...

Getting married.

I know before I said I'd never marry anyone...not sure if it was on here or out loud.
I've been proposed to twice.
Before that in my long term relationship, we talked about it, but I wasn't ever sure about it and I knew I wouldn't/COULDN'T marry him.

But with this one... I feel comfortable when I think about marriage.

ask_london @ 2006-11-14T02:48:00

2006-11-14T10:48:56Z

I'm outraged.
In N Out closes at 1?! since when?!
Argh.

I'll admit it...
"I've got one problem: I fall apart for you."

Chyea...falling..

We speak in different voices when fighting with the ones we've loved.

2006-11-11T20:52:20Z

Today I'm going to the city or Halfmoon bay (we haven't decided yet...) with him.
Tra La La Laaa... we'll see how this rolls, betches.

ask_london @ 2006-11-09T22:54:00

2006-11-10T06:54:23Z

Today, I woke up to find some roses and a card on my car.

I blushed a little.

I would show you all what he wrote on the inside...
but that's for me to appreciate =]

ask_london @ 2006-11-09T00:11:00

2006-11-09T08:11:51Z

"In Fear And Faith"

Can we last through the winter?
The water's starting to freeze.
The only one who remembers
Taking the wrong step, falling in front of me.
This body's already aging.
These nights are all ready long.
And if I last through the winter,
I swear to you now, I won't call.

Congratulations, go home now.

Will we last through the winter?
Will we make it to see?
I never wanted a partner and I never loved you,
Now you are free to leave.
This heart is already frozen,
I can't remember to fall.
And if I last through the winter,
I swear to you now, I won't call.

Congratulations, go home now.

It's too late, it's too late, they won't let go.
Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door.
It's too late, it's too late, they won't let go.
Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door.

It must be buried under the heart
That makes this pace consistent.
You'll find it torn, that gate's been opened?
I've been wondering if you've been real with us.

It's too late
It's too late, it's too late, they won't let go.
Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door.
It's too late, it's too late, they won't let go.
Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door.

It's start, stop and go you've been dying for, you've been dying for.

ask_london @ 2006-11-08T22:42:00

2006-11-09T06:42:35Z

Pretty much I went to bed at 4 and slept in all day.
That's what happens when you're sick.
I've been for about a year now and sometimes it just kicks me in the ass.

Whatchu know about that?
Nothin'.

I feel so rejuvenated.

Last night, I had doors opened for me so many times.
The seat pulled out or down for me.
My cigarette lit.
Everything paid for.

I felt like a queen.

That's the culture.
That's how it should be.

and I felt safe again.

What a lovely life.

I'm loving mine.

Oh what a tra-la-la day...

2006-11-08T09:20:49Z

I was late to my MAC interview today because fucking BART had a 20 minute delay.
Luckily I wasn't the only one late because of BART or other transportation discrepencies and they let us have a small interview.
Unfortunately for me, I was the first to answer just about every single question, leaving me not enough time in the group interview to really think it all out while another spoke. Ugh. All the other girls gave out beauty pagent answers.
BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Went to school.
Walked to the Asian Art Museum for a field trip.
I got hit on like 294729384 times by scary black men.
"AYE DIMPLES! AYE DIMPLES!!!"

Yuck.

I fell in love with a sculpture.

Helped a friend out with girl confusion.

Saw a few girls from highschool, hella cool.

I went home and later hung out with Deanna; we went to Berkeley.
On our adventure we took a trip to Zebra where Deanna got her nose re-pierced and I got a smiley. I love it.

Saw The Grudge 2 with Martin.
HAHAHAHAHA. Fucking hilarious.
We held hands even!

I'm happy.

ask_london @ 2006-11-07T00:22:00

2006-11-07T08:22:27Z

Martín laughs at my jokes and excessive hand linguistics.

Beautiful cold night.
I saw so many people.
I saw Mikala AGAIN.
I see her about twice a week.
It's crazzzy.

I think I found a possible roommate.

Keep me warm.
Hold me.
I swear, we'll feel again.

Man, am I falling already?

ask_london @ 2006-11-06T18:05:00

2006-11-07T02:05:29Z

I've got a date with the niiiiiiiight =]

Well...actually...his name is Martin.

Give 'em the boot.

2006-11-06T11:06:49Z

You are nothing but a child playing war.

Fake.

Love isn't a war.

I refuse to keep fighting.

I don't negotiate with Love.

I'm beyond happy being without you FINALLY.

I love my tattoos

2006-11-06T00:28:02Z

So be it.

`Cut down smoking. School days: 4-6. Non-School days: 2-4
`Stop pushing away those I love. Friends, Family and Significant
`Work on trust (rebuild, not too overly cautious.)
`No pain killers or sleeping pills in excess.
`Smile more =]
`Try & then GO VEGAN! (And stay that way!)
`Stay focused at/on school. Do all of HW!
`FORGIVE YOURSELF.
`Open their eyes...