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Valentine's Day [on Monday, February 19th at around 7PM] Martin made me dinner and since then and the days after we've squashed a lot of what has been bothering me lately. Healing takes time, yes, but love and effort that healing can happen faster. I am so in love. And this time it's a romantic love. Not some bullshit love where it's like "well I've been with them for four months so I guess I love them". Psh. Fuck that kid shit. I just have to stay positive. ask me.

[on Tuesday, February 6th at around 10PM] Let's hope this never happens again. Otherwise, I'm back to my first plan of disappearing. ask me.

May Angels Lead You In [on Sunday, February 4th at around 2AM] [ mood | loved ] So everyone is sleeping. Everyone in my house but me. I haven't had the chance to write in this thing for a looong while. I've been extremely busy with school, which I happen to be doing very well in. The guy I love is sleeping and I'm afraid to fall asleep. He's so ethereal. Especially when he sleeps. I touch his face just to make sure he's not something I've made up, I know he's not a false idea of an idealistic human. He's perfect with his imperfections. he's perfect because he embraces mine. I'm so in love. And this time it's real. It's meant to last a life time. I may be young, it may be too early on to say it... but we know what we want. Each other. He says he wants to get married. So do I. And we mean it. I'm [MORE THAN] willing to give my all to him. ask me.

On the date I was given my destiny... [on Thursday, January 18th at around 2AM] My birthday was beyond amazing. I fell harder back into love. I've learned so much already about myself and relationships in general because of the relationship I'm currently in. This is going to last. Martin has shown me what an honest relationship is. he's shown me everything that obviously I never had with or within a signicant other. I was also kidnapped and my car was fully decorated. I got the best gifts, and I'm not talking about the materialistic ones either. I received the gift of love on my birthday and the gifts of friendship and happiness. ask me.

Phone Convo. [on Tuesday, December 19th at around 12AM] [ mood | giggly ] Michelle: I'm sorry, Jordan's ugly. Me: Ew he is...Ew...Jordan's hella ugly. Michelle: Yeaaaahhh. Me: HOW COME NO ONE TOLD ME? Michelle: Because no one wanted to offend you. Me: *laughs* Ew he's HELLA UGLY. ask me.

To whom it may concern: [on Tuesday, December 12th at around 8PM] [ music | Cherry Bomb // Joan Jett and the Blackhearts ] I love who I am. Christmas is coming up fast! I'm not worried, my presents are going to be the best ever. Martin is going to take me ice skating soon! Hella excited. I need not anyone else, romantically. Perhaps, I need not anyone ever again? Who knows =] I love all my friends for sticking by me, and I'm sure they know I'm here no matter what. Need me to pepper spray a fool? I'm there. I'll kill a bitch for any of my friends. This quarter is overrr for Miss Lydia. ask me.

Revenge Fuck. [on Friday, December 8th at around 2AM] [ music | Handcuffs // Brand New ] and believe me, Revenge is Sweet. ask me.

[on Tuesday, November 28th at around 12AM] The fact that I can actually sit town and talk things out with my babe gives me a sense of relief and happiness. I appreciate that he knows when I get a bit upset and wants to TALK it out. That when I tell him I feel like I may panic, he lets me get it all out. He kisses my forehead. And runs his hands and fingers over and through my hair. He knows I mean what I say. That I don't lie. That I'll never cheat him out. He called me his girlfriend today =] I've already fallen for his family. He had me smitten the moment he placed an autumn leaf on my dashboard. In Other News: Gonna go to Haight wednesdaaaay! With Deanna and Kat =] and possibly Martin...but it's not for sure yet... Then gonna goooo to Berkeley Friday and then to Christmas in the Park!<333 Saturday, hella plans for Halfmoon Bay and Santa Cruz. <333 It's refreshing. For the RIGHT reasons. ask me.

[on Monday, November 27th at around 1AM] I luuuuuuuv my friends. And my beb. At this point I need not anyone else but a handfull of people. Life is good. Love is great. ask me.

[on Saturday, November 25th at around 2PM] Hygiene is very important to maintain if you want a job at Hot Topic. So take a shower! HAHAHAHAAHAHA. Dirty boyz are HELLUH nasty to look at... and smell. Girls day out today. I loooove my girlZzZz. (1) bandaids ; ask me.

[on Thursday, November 23rd at around 4AM] Upon the sand, upon the bay "There is a quick and easy way" you say Before you illustrate I'd rather state : "I'm not the man you think I am I'm not the man you think I am" And Sorrow's native son He will not smile for anyone And Pretty Girls Make Graves Oh ... End of the pier, end of the bay You tug my arm, and say : "Give in to lust, Give up to lust, oh heaven knows we'll Soon be dust ... " Oh, I'm not the man you think I am I'm not the man you think I am And Sorrow's native son He will not rise for anyone And Pretty Girls Make Graves Oh ... I could have been wild and I could have Been free But Nature played this trick on me She wants it Now And she will not wait But she's too rough And I'm too delicate Then, on the sand Another man, he takes her hand A smile lights up her stupid face (and well, it would) I lost my faith in Womanhood I lost my faith in Womanhood I lost my faith ... Oh ... Hand in glove ... The sun shines out of our behinds ... Oh ... ask me.

[on Wednesday, November 22nd at around 4AM] [ music | Here In Your Arms // Hellogoodbye ] Take it with a teaspoon of salt. That's right. Get Jealous. My life is sweet. Time for sleep since I just got done with a slight project. Then I'm off to SF to drop off the project with OLGAAAA. Hang out with Deanna. Go home. Shop with Michelle. Hang out with her and my loverrrrZz. Let's party ;D ask me.

[on Tuesday, November 21st at around 12AM] New and Improved. Proud. Inhaling. Exhaling. Falling deeper and deeper. *Sigh. He is perfection. He's what I've been missing. He's what I've needed all this time. ♥ ask me.

He speaks what I think, sometimes. [on Monday, November 20th at around 12AM] "loving me isnt playing tug-o-war with my heart because you can. Not killing my soul and pouring my emotions down the drain for self-benefit. You're nothing but a charlatan and a fool. and your chances have shriveled and died long ago" "no. never again. I'm tired of dying and trying to recucitate myself because it'll make you happy for a single moment in time, until you run off with some other piece of shit whos only better than me until im fed up" Exactly. ask me.

[on Saturday, November 18th at around 10PM] So... I'm ... Getting married. I know before I said I'd never marry anyone...not sure if it was on here or out loud. I've been proposed to twice. Before that in my long term relationship, we talked about it, but I wasn't ever sure about it and I knew I wouldn't/COULDN'T marry him. But with this one... I feel comfortable when I think about marriage. ask me.

[on Tuesday, November 14th at around 2AM] I'm outraged. In N Out closes at 1?! since when?! Argh. I'll admit it... "I've got one problem: I fall apart for you." Chyea...falling.. ask me.

We speak in different voices when fighting with the ones we've loved. [on Saturday, November 11th at around 12PM] [ music | Voices // Saosin ] Today I'm going to the city or Halfmoon bay (we haven't decided yet...) with him. Tra La La Laaa... we'll see how this rolls, betches. ask me.

[on Thursday, November 9th at around 10PM] [ mood | giddy ] Today, I woke up to find some roses and a card on my car. I blushed a little. ( Too adorable.., ) (4) bandaids ; ask me.

[on Thursday, November 9th at around 12AM] [ mood | optimistic ] [ music | In Fear And Faith // Circa Survive ] "In Fear And Faith" Can we last through the winter? The water's starting to freeze. The only one who remembers Taking the wrong step, falling in front of me. This body's already aging. These nights are all ready long. And if I last through the winter, I swear to you now, I won't call. Congratulations, go home now. Will we last through the winter? Will we make it to see? I never wanted a partner and I never loved you, Now you are free to leave. This heart is already frozen, I can't remember to fall. And if I last through the winter, I swear to you now, I won't call. Congratulations, go home now. It's too late, it's too late, they won't let go. Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door. It's too late, it's too late, they won't let go. Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door. It must be buried under the heart That makes this pace consistent. You'll find it torn, that gate's been opened? I've been wondering if you've been real with us. It's too late It's too late, it's too late, they won't let go. Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door. It's too late, it's too late, they won't let go. Follow five footsteps through that open door, open door. It's start, stop and go you've been dying for, you've been dying for. ask me.

[on Wednesday, November 8th at around 10PM] Pretty much I went to bed at 4 and slept in all day. That's what happens when you're sick. I've been for about a year now and sometimes it just kicks me in the ass. Whatchu know about that? Nothin'. I feel so rejuvenated. Last night, I had doors opened for me so many times. The seat pulled out or down for me. My cigarette lit. Everything paid for. I felt like a queen. That's the culture. That's how it should be. and I felt safe again. What a lovely life. I'm loving mine. ask me.

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